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I do three things when I have nothing to say: read, write, and not-write. In all of these activities, I successfully engage with language (and the lack of it) every day. Although I'm not "saying" something every time I do these things, they create an environment in which something to say might be found.

Reading is the easiest thing to mention here: I read not in a mercenary way but as a way to keep abreast of my own burgeoning curiosities. It's a wonderful time of discovery. And I read widely and indiscriminately all the time through newsletters like this one, news roundups, feature articles, the local paper, emails, texts, and the little, ongoing syllabus of Books in My Library I Have Not Read and Am Somehow Avoiding. More recently, the reading has been driven more by what I'm doing professionally, be it teaching or lectures for events. The point is to be exposed to many registers of language at once on a pretty daily basis.

Writing can be thought of in the same way. I'm writing when I email or text another person. You may want to be intentional with how you do "useless" writing too. This is the diary and/or the dream log. I set a routine for myself: write down your dream as soon as you wake up. You may be someone who doesn't remember dreams. That's ok. If you don't remember anything, you can still use this time to blearily journal in a low-stakes, low-grade way. The "notebook" is another key factor in this. The "notebook" doesn't have to be a book, but it should be an easily accessible place where you go to write down your thoughts. Notebook schemes can change. For example, right now my "notebook" is a writing pad I keep on my office desk, my usual steno half-sheet pad, and the notes app in which I'm typing this right now. Not as organized as I usually like to be, but no matter. Someday, when the time is right, I'll come back to these and use the pieces.

When you have "nothing to say," it's creative downtime. In these times, like myself at this very instant, I feel scatterbrained, imposter-y, and ineffectual until I come upon a spark through my other activities. When this happens, I write it down on some limb of the note "book." Then it disappears into the ether rather than turning into a manuscript. Alas. But I write it down. I write. And have faith that I will see it when I need it again.

Not-writing is accepting, without judgment, that this is not a time I wish to speak. A friend of mine calls it a winter period—others call it the fallow season, etc. I myself call it an incubation time. I cozy up and get comfortable and look to what brings me gratitude and joy. I teach or spend time developing other interests. I build my relationship with silence. One of the joys of taking your time is withholding your life for yourself.

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Weirdly the most useful thing I found when I was last in this situation was to start every piece of writing with where I currently was and what I was reading (ie. I am in Caffe Nero and I'm reading Sylvia Plath...)

Something about describing what I was reading helped reactivate that dormant writing gene in me: it was always a way in to writing something better.

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Oct 14, 2020Liked by Yanyi

Thank you Yanyi for writing on this. You have a very uncanny way of addressing what's on my mind writing wise in the moment in each post, as if we are in sync somehow. I am happy to be reminded of these three things, but I find myself getting stuck after I've done all the things you suggest and want to ask for your thoughts and strategies on that. I have so many notes and journals, I've taken many writing classes, I even left a job to start exploring my writing more (while freelancing), and still I struggle to form the raw material I have into something - whether poem, short story, essay, or other work. I have ideas for forms, and I have forms suggested in writing classes. Yet when it comes down to it, it's like all thoughts and ideas and ability to make sense of things disappear. I go blank. I'm not even sure if this is fear. It may be anxiety, c-ptsd, add, lack of discipline, or lack of ability to do it. I get so frustrated and sad (and embarrassed) because this is something I want to do more than anything else. And I don't know how to explain to people the sudden inability to turn ideas into material reality. I thought I'd give it some time, but I've watched a year go by... a friend recently recommended "outwriting the pace of my brain" but even then, I still find it very journal-y and draft-y, not formulated into anything... have you experienced this before? Does it signal anything to you? Are there strategies?

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Oct 14, 2020Liked by Yanyi

I really enjoy doing different writing exercises or games to just generate words. Like making erasures, anagram games or speed writing, for example. I also do a game where I take a bunch of books or any printed thing (labels, etc) and just make lists of the first words I see. Sometimes it leads to a stream of thought or through line sometimes not, either way I find it fun! Thank you for sharing on this topic, I find it (and all your other posts) so helpful.

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